Small Victories

About 6 months ago, I would look in the mirror, not liking what I saw. But I was in denial. My jeans were getting tighter, but I kept thinking: I will exercise more, someday.

This scene has been played out often in my life; often enough for me to consider it a pattern. I just knew that, like before, I needed an incentive to start doing something about it.

So, the first thing I did was to face reality. I wanted to lose 5 pounds. 10 would be better, but I would start with 5. What did it for me, being Catholic, was that the beginning of Lent was just around the corner. I started to think about what I was going to "give up" for Lent. There has been a lot of emphasis lately by the church to let us know that we really do not have to "give up" anything, but we should definitely think of sacrificing something that is pleasurable to us. Nevertheless, as a lifelong Catholic, I started thinking about what would I sacrifice for Lent. I decided, and it wasn't easy, to give up sweets, mainly dessert-type sweets. That was a good start, I have only messed up once, so far.

That was enough of an incentive for me to tell myself "no more midnight snacks, or eating anything after dinner." The hardest part was the first few days. I was used to grabbing the bag of chips and dips, or whatever else was around. Usually this was between 8-10 PM.

A little bit of history: My mother, 80 years old, and mostly bedridden, needed someone to help her in the evenings after her caregiver left. I would go to my mother's house to tend to her needs, which was not easy. I learned a lot of nursing care, and many a time I would feel glad that I never finished my nursing school. And, to be fair, I got some help from my two sisters, and some from my brothers. Being the one with the most flexible schedule, I felt it was my duty. A labor of love. Now, after some serious medical setbacks for my Mom, we had to look at putting her into a skilled nursing facility. It seems to be working out, and she gets the care she needs from professionals.
I will also say that I love my Mom, but it still wasn't easy. I would feel so stressed sometimes, that I would "reward" myself when I came home, with a glass of wine, which I felt, tasted better accompanied by some snack. Thank God that I never have had the capacity for more than one, maybe two glasses of wine. Who knows what would have happened to me if I had been able to handle more than that!

So, back to my diet. I, so far, have been good about not eating after dinner. Once or twice, when hunger pangs would hit, I would eat some grapes, or an orange.

But, I'm happy to say that my clothes fit better now. I guess I have lost a couple of pounds, though I don't weigh myself often. The way my clothes fit tells me more than what the scale says.

Maintaining your weight is a lifelong process. It never gets easier. I hope to make it a habit.